Why Reflection is Becoming a Luxury

Why has something so fundamental as reflection become something we struggle to make time for?

Life gets so busy. All of us have a thousand different things running through our brains — commitments, work, friends, children, our pets, our family, our homes, our communities. It's no wonder we are too exhausted to actually have the mental bandwidth for reflection.

There are things we know would be good for us. Reflection is one of them. I remember one of my managers once saying, "Okay — every Friday afternoon, I want you guys to do your own individual reflections for your week." She had literally carved out time in our weeks to do it.

Did I do it?

No. I did not.

I had far too much on my plate to stop and actually do as she asked. I had reports to complete, deadlines to meet, a child to parent, a dog to walk and a house to run. There was no way I was going to spend three hours of my week doing something like that.

I would say to myself, "If she really wants reflections, then I'll do it over the weekend."

And I never did.

Because everything else piled on top.

Now, that manager? She's now a good friend. Looking back, she was trying to teach us something far more important than writing about our week. She was trying to show us that reflection is a practice we should be building into our lives.

Even though that time had been gifted to us each week, I never really used it.

She could see what I couldn't.

Looking back, that feels incredibly ironic. I still burned myself out. It was during the Covid years, and by the end of 2020 I was absolutely exhausted.

I remember a friend saying to me during that period, "Kate, I'm worried you're killing yourself."

She could see what I couldn't.

From the inside, it just felt like I was getting through another day. My brain was so consumed by deadlines, responsibilities and everything that needed to happen next that I'd lost the ability to step back and notice what was happening to me.

It wasn't until much later, with the benefit of reflection, that I realised she had been seeing something I couldn't.

In 2021, as I realised what had gone fundamentally wrong, I started journaling and began a coaching programme with a beautiful mentor who taught me how important a daily reflective practice really is. It took burnout for me to realise something had to change. I knew, deep in my soul, that I had to prevent that from ever happening again.

At the time, reflection felt like a luxury I simply couldn't afford.

What I know now is that if I create time to reflect, even if it's only ten minutes a day, I become a much better human in this world I inhabit. I parent better. I get more done. I think about my own thoughts with greater clarity. I create from my soul. Most importantly, I stop carrying everything around in my head and show up as a better person than I was yesterday.

Reflection was once woven into the rhythm

I believe reflection is more important now than ever before. With the rapid pace the world is moving at, and all of us expected to somehow keep up, reflection is one of the few places we can come back to and truly hear ourselves. We have access to more information than any generation before us, yet we spend less time listening to our own inner voice.

Throughout history, people found natural moments for reflection. Under the stars. Through spiritual practice. Around the dinner table. In letters. In journals. During quiet conversations. Reflection wasn't another task on the to-do list; it was simply woven into the rhythm of everyday life. It helped shape families, communities and the world we inherited.

Perhaps it's no surprise that years later I found myself building Midlife Renaissance. It is a Personal Intelligence platform designed to gently gather your reflections together and reflect them back to you. Not to tell you who you are, but to help you recognise what is already emerging. The shifts you are making. The patterns you can't always see while you're living them.

Perhaps reflection was never a luxury. Perhaps it's one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves… even if it's only for ten minutes a day.